The Carnival Affair Part1

I wrap her tight, embracing her warmth and never ending compassion. We whisper sweet nothings in each other’s ear, and laugh at our stupidity. We are young and forever. Longing to never die.
This was four hours ago.
And the carnival was still opened then.
My memory is a hazy dream of thoughts and regrets. I watch twist and turn in his arms. I still feel the hands of the guards on me like they were blades deep into my unconscious, uncontrolled and unharnessed. I barely remember the incident but I remember the affect, I still feel the thump in my gut. Emotions have always got the best of me. I sit crouched in the corner of a dark cow coral. They ‘Moo’ restlessly as they sense my misplacement in their territory.
Okay, I’m pausing to gather notes...First I should put it in third person...but wait, no, I can better express his thoughts in first and also lead better to the end...Side note: I wrote the story (and yes there is a story to it) in the 10 second break I took after writing this. So don’t make fun of it! Here we go! Try number two!!!
I miss you so much, Dee…time is passing so fast…time is none existence, it seems empty and meaningless. We worry too much about how much we have left but not enough on the time at hand, and the opportunities we get. My friend told me a joke, Dee. ‘There was a flood in a small rural city. Everyone who survived was on top of their roofs. One the people on their roof was a very religious man…’ Maybe it was fate. Maybe you were supposed to see your old friend. Maybe you were supposed to argue with him. Maybe you were supposed to die…I don’t believe in God, mainly, because I don’t think he believes in me.
When I was little my mother would take me to the fair…fair, the carnival…and we would ride the…chair-lift……I used to get scared that I would fall and….I remember the rest of the joke. ‘One of the people on their roof was a very religious man and he would sit on his roof and pray. He wait on the roof for two days till finally a boat came. The man on the boat offers him a ride and says he will save him. But the man refused…’ Why didn’t you refuse to talk to the man? The Mean Man. He walks up to you as if he owned you…HE HIT YOU!!! And his bodyguards held me back! Dee, believe me they held me tight, left bruises on my arms. Now you are gone…and I have no one to talk to… ‘The man refused saying, “God will come and save me.” the guy driving the boat called him…’ I miss you Dee, you never judged me. You never hurt me! You made me feel alive, like a part of a whole. They say that smart people write better than they speak. And you saw that. ‘The man in the boat drove away. With in a few hours the man died, he goes to heaven. And God meets him at the Gates, “Why didn’t you save me?” he asks God.’…Save you… ‘God replies, “Why didn’t you take the Fucking boat?!”’